When They Are Gone
by Lucius McLean
Summary: Someone returns to the cold city of New York, but will he let himself be seen? Or will he just continue to walk in the ruins of a shattered life?


Disclaimer: Not mine.. Belong to ER and all those people. This fic is dedicated to the best friends that is in the world. Cathrine (Kate), FatCat, Mersey, Gal, Ama, Miss Khris and Carkey. Thanks for making my days so good.  
  
~*~*~When They Are Gone~*~*~ By John T Carter Aka. Jeanie In a Bottle  
  
He took a deep breath and continued walking, it wasn't far to go, neither was it hill, but it was heavy to walk there. A graveyard that he didn't want to visit, not because he didn't like the place, but because somebody had been ripped away from him, just as suddenly as they came into his life.  
  
He put down the flowers he had brought and kneeled down, wiping away the snow from the little plaque. The cold air made his cheeks freeze and but his eyes were all too wet, tears were pressing to get out. But he wouldn't let them, he hadn't cried for.. for as long as he could remember. After what he had learned, boys don't cry.  
  
After just sitting there for a moment he stood up again, slowly walking away from all the graves and out of the graveyard. The silence from the graveyard were consumed by the noise of the city, making him remember that it was no way to stop, the life and city wouldn't and therefore he couldn't either.  
  
No one knew he was there, not a single person in the world knew, and not a single person cared. He was back in the city were he had promised himself to never a visit again, in a city that only gave him bad memories. But somehow, somehow he was back, but this time no one would get him to run away again.  
  
He started walking down the street feeling the New York wind hitting him in his face. He stopped walking for a while, just looking at the building in front of him. It was familiar, and hadn't really changed since he left. It hadn't been so long, but even tough he had wished that it had changed at least a little, just so that he could know that things did change when he had left.  
  
He couldn't help it and walked into the ambulance bay, he just had to check if he could see someone, they wouldn't recognise him, not with this beaten up face. He could see one of them, he were sitting outside smoking, looking at the hustle and bustle around him, as he stared he could see a female coming outside, sitting down next to him, kissing him on the lips. That was when he wanted to turn away, but somehow his legs didn't want to move and he continued watching. After a while it got too cold in the thin college sweater and he just had to move away, had to move back to the place he hated.  
  
When he stopped in the hallway inside he could hear them arguing again, and he just sat down silently outside the door waiting for them to quit, praying softly with his eyes closed, why did they always have to argue?  
  
After a while it turned so silent inside that he dared to walk in. Silently he took of his boots and tried to sneak into his room again. But then he realised that it was too silent, they never were completely silent. He slowly walked into the mess that had been a living room so very far ago. They were laying on the couch, really silent. His pulse started to rise a little and he walked over to her firstly, she didn't have a pulse, neither did he who were laying beside her. Running over to the telephone he could feel his heart pounding more and more, he dialled the emergency number and told them what was going on.  
  
As soon as he could hang up, he ran over to them, not really wanting to see what he knew he would see. But it was there, the bottles of pills were laying on the table, empty. He tried to give them CPR, but it was so hard, he was only one, and they were two.The paramedics came running inside, and he told them what he knew. Somehow he knew that it was too late, his parents had killed themselves.  
  
The paramedics asked him if he wanted to follow them to the hospital and he nodded. But firstly he ran into the little room next to the kitchen picking up the crying little girl. He put on her a little jacket, cap and mittens and just found a cap for himself running down to the paramedics.  
  
He just sat there silently watching his mother getting bagged, that they gave her all sorts of medicine to keep her alive. He covered the little girls eyes with her cap, so that she couldn't see her mother dying. "It will be alright Andrea, it will be alright" "What's their names?" The paramedic asked him. "Cecily and Sander Malucci" He replied not looking at her. 


End file.
